For those of you that truly know me, you are already aware of the fact that I am not much of a writer. Trying my best to keep this short and sweet, I’d like to share what’s been going on in my life for a while now.
*inhale*
Before I begin, please know and allow me to start by saying that I know exactly how wonderfully blessed I am. I have everything I could ever ask for… a family who I love dearly and never fails to support my every move. My amazing husband of 19 years treats me just like the queen of everything and has been known to move mountains just to please me. He is my rock and I have no idea where I would be today without him. My children, of course, truly are more than I could ever ask for; they are my heart and soul, they are my everything. They deserve a medal, too for putting up with psycho mom. My parents live right up the street from us and we have such a close-knit relationship. They are so supportive and loving to us all, we are very lucky to be so close, it’s wonderful to be so involved with the family, I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world! My brother really isn’t so far away… we can go for long periods of time without being in touch yet always seem to pick up right where we left off. He “gets” me (what an awesome feeling) and accepts me for the sister I am. How lucky am I? My life is extremely blessed and has all that I could ever need or want. There are really no words to express how I feel about my family. Words are never enough to make anyone understand how much each and every one of them means to me. Thank you all so much for being the reason… You know how that goes… I am a mother, a wife, a daughter and a sister. I am also a friend. Though, over the last few weeks I seem to have fallen short in all categories.
With that being said, recently, for the first time in my life… I lost my grip. I forgot how to smile. I have no energy to muster a smile. Not to say that I haven’t always been moody and temperamental, but this time it’s been definitely and completely different. I have succumbed to unexplained extreme depression and anxiety. I have no idea how this happened, nor do I have an explanation. I have a chemical imbalance. I feel like I’m having a heart attack on a daily basis. (God-forbid) For as long as I can remember, my personality has always been the cheerful, lovey-dovey, outgoing…you know, the “no backbone” type. I’ve rarely uttered the word “no” to anyone outside of my immediate household and this at times, has made a mad-woman. Yes, I know all to well that you can relate… we all find ourselves in this situation at one time or another. To say the least, just maybe my mind has just decided to finally throw my hands in the air and give up? I really don’t know how this happened. (I keep looking for a legitimate reason, yet I now know the triggers) Something that I can confidently say is that this change of life is and has been for way too long, kicking my ass. I am 41 years young and absolutely menopausal. (TMI, I know, but I really don’t care anymore) It has hormonally, been an emotional roller coaster and I am trying desperately to repair a broken spirit. Again, anyone that knows me won’t be surprised when I say that my creativity has spiraled downward. This is nothing new… it’s been spoken of countless times among friends and loved ones in the last couple of years. When I lost that creative feeling, I guess I lost a pretty good sized chunk of my soul. I have been lost without it. Like an itch that you just can’t scratch. Patiently waiting for my muse to return… spending many hours in my art studio just looking around for something to do- to no avail. I am and have always been very (duh!) high energy and have become very high maintenance. Sitting idle and stagnant has NEVER agreed with me. Maybe this has something to do with my mental collapse? Who knows? For some reason, in writing, it seems as though the loss of creativity adds an enormous key element to all of this. Trust me, it does take its toll but I am also not naïve. Blame cannot entirely be cast upon my loss of creativity; it’s just an easy scapegoat. There are of course, a number of other circumstances that have added to my stress level over the last few years. Those, I’m just not willing to chatter out loud to the world about.
I want so badly to be myself again, only stronger and more able to cope with harbored and suppressed emotions. I miss my family. I miss my friends; I miss my ability to smile. I want to visit with you all and small talk about nothing. I’m just not able or ready to interact and pretend like I feel fine right now. Trust in knowing that things will be great again, I just need a bit more time. This phase in my life though is different. I can’t do it alone. I’ve tried. Unlike before, I’m not able pick myself up, dust off and move forward. Lately, after falling, it’s been progressively getting harder and harder to pick myself up again. One of my weaknesses: bottling emotion until I literally burst. I have been forced to seek medical attention for this and the good news is, there is help for me. I believe that I now have the tools to cope and am on the road to recovery. Happiness will return, hopefully sooner than later... this is certainly a struggle for someone who has always enjoyed working in the hospitality industry. I am here to please…
All this rambling and why do I feel like I could go on and on… need to say even more? What’s been going through my head? It’s a mental ailment with associated physical symptoms. (I still cannot believe that I have the balls to throw this out there for the world to judge.) This social butterfly has become infected now, with social anxiety. Go figure. I’ll never understand why, life as I know it is pretty damn good right now. I am blessed and fully aware that there are many unfortunate souls out there who have it much worse yet, have the strength of an army to carry on. I really don’t know how one does it under tragic or monumental circumstances. May our God bless all those with special intentions and needs. Thank you all so much for “listening”, I don’t expect you to understand, I just really needed to let go of this.
*exhale*
checking in because it’s been a while! we’ve been on the go around here with my daughter’s awesome tennis meets, work, commissions and life in general. things are going great and the mojo is finally back in full swing! I’ve been getting lost in my studio and it’s a fabulous feeling!
I’ve actually been considering another giveaway sometime before the holidays, I’d love to send goodies to your mailbox so keep those eyes peeled! have a wonderful day!
hugs
this was my end of the deal… “you know who you are!”
she’ll see you tomorrow! hehe
have a great evening, everyone!
cj
excitement and anticipation is in the air around here. certainly, i’ve got the best two kids in the whole wide world! our son just recently started his new job, he’s been truly blessed with an opportunity working for a company with a very bright future and today is our daughter’s first day of her junior year in high school . she’ll be taking four college credit classes this year & hoping to juggle her part time job, as well. it’s been busy, busy fine tuning the details… i am such a proud momma! many blessings and best wishes for luck as they tackle this new chapter in their lives , they’ll do just fine! my children are truly my pride and joy… take a peek. here’s my brendan!
and here’s my bethany!
I can’t believe how the time has flown by, just yesterday they were so tiny. I love you both!
wishing everyone a happy, relaxing and safe weekend~ I’ll close for now with a photo of a visitor that we had early this morning. monkey had a friend stop by to visit! pretty darn cute, huh?
later, gators!
christina
who’s having a birthday. she is absolutely wonderful and makes each day better by just being... thank you for all that you do for others!!!
happy birthday, claudia! ox
hugs!
happy 22nd to my amazing son, may he have the very best of birthdays today and 100 more to come!!!! we love you so much!
God bless you,
momma OXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
howdy!! just popping in for a quickie, how was everyone’s weekend? I tackled some more spring cleaning around the house, concentrating on the porches. it felt so good to freshen and edit the outdoor areas, and right before trash day! *finally* growing some grass in the bare spots too, the yard is coming along nicely!
trying to stay busy over here with various creative projects and still have much going on in the week ahead. I hope to catch up with you all again in the next few days and am excited to fill you in on what’s been going on!
hugs ~~
thank goodness the sun is shining, that’s what makes me tick!
it’s a beautiful day in this neighborhood!
christina
frustrated and tired, the blog looks a tad bit better… I’ll quit for now. say hello to my crabby little friend.
are you all having a wonderful week? hang in there, it’s almost the weekend!
i.want. to. create.
hugs ox
happy day to all of my family and friends and I certainly hope that you had a blessed easter sunday!! we spent the day with family and i couldn’t have asked for anything more~ it was a beautiful day here!!
what have I been up to? I’ve been blessed with many things to do…my plate has been pretty full lately. (welp, at least I’m trying to stay outta trouble, right? hehe) just trying to keep busy~ you know what it’s like, the list goes on… family, holidays, starting up and preparing for first monday workshops at cottage of the seasons again, getting involved more in our community with a handful of side projects, working…
geez, and I don’t know what is going on with this blog o’ mine?!? twice now I have spent over an hour trying to fix my blog background… to no avail. one of these days it’ll look the way that I want it to! in the meantime, bear with me, please. I’ll just try to keep my uploaded pics interesting! :)
sending sweet love and wishing you all a wonderful week~ I’ll check in again soon!
hugs,
christina
YAY!!!! congrats to my lucky girl, holly!!!!
everyone ended up having their name on a ticket, plopped into one of my cutie vintage bowls. holly’s name was chosen and is hereby proclaimed **the winner**!!!!! (hand picked by that super fabulous daughter o’ mine!! thank you, beth!) I’ll get in touch with you and get this into the mail for you asap! congrats sweet friend and oh yeah, holly~ you rock!!! make sure to stop by holly’s blog ~~ Hollyrocks ~~ you’ll just love what you see!
thank you all for being a part of this, I’ll try to do this more often!
hugs,
christina ox
the sun is bright, this makes for a better photo.
misha and lorraine, you are entered, thank you so much!
hugs to all!
christina
overdue I know.
sorry for the delay, but here we go!
all together now… here’s the loot!
my photos aren’t the best this time, so please bear with me. the sun decided not to shine today, so my pictures look just as gloomy.
first off, I’ll be offering 4 " little blank books”. these are small hand painted and doodled, accordion style books to jot tiny notes/affirmations. perfectly and conveniently packed in a well-used child’s watercolor paints case.
teensy tiny sweet candies in a very teensy tiny frame…
a repurposed decorative tray with a “happy'” cake…
oh, and I couldn’t forget a “sweet shoppe” silly necklace…
who knows? the winner might even get an extra special something surprise. hmmm, maybe personalized? yes. that sounds like a really good idea!
it’s all so easy peasy. all that you have to do is simply leave a comment on this post and I will draw a random winner on monday, march 7th. you know the drill~~ if you are a fellow blogger, I’ll know how to contact you. if not, just make sure to leave me your email addy.
good luck and thank you all for being such dear, sweet friends! I appreciate YOU so much!
oxox
christina
this is a personalized journal that was done for a customer around Christmas time.
ahem.. *cough, cough*… still need to make one for a friend’s daughter… I promise, I will get rolling on that one, girl!
ox
our family room in the back of the house… let the sun shine in!
(as soon as it comes back out from behind the clouds! 
oxo
sooooooo…
i’ve been working on the appearance of my blog. for some reason, i CANNOT get a header photo to show up. i’ve been trying to tweak it for two days now and my patience has expired. i still have hair left, so it’s time to stop.
maybe i’ll come back to it, maybe I won’t.
ox
I’ll bet now, you can understand why…
Thank you, sweet Claudia~ you know me so well! OX
Christina
um, so yeah.
just a quick visual.
an explanation of how and why I accumulate so much “stuff”!!! notice the price of my not-so-new popcorn containers. still attached and waiting for a good washing… for FOUR of them, at that! they’ll go great in my retro kitchen!
notice.
HAHAHA!!!
hugs and wishes for a sparkly day!
christina
happy new year! a commitment to blogging really should be one of my resolutions for the new year. i have been terrible at keeping up with my poor, neglected icandy….
hey, here’s a quick peek at what I’ve been up to the last couple of days... i’ll be finishing these in the next few days so that they can be delivered downtown! stop by cottage of the season’s soon and take a peek at the latest originals up for sale!
thanks for looking!
hugs to all and stay safe and warm out there!
christina
Busy, busy morning working on a few custom journals!! I’ll be donating ten to a local organization for the holiday and I’m in the midst of creating a sweet, customized keepsake for a very special young lady! I just can’t wait to complete them and share the results with you all! Check back to see photos in the next week, it’s crunch time!
oxox
Oh geez, time as gotten away from me~ AGAIN! I’ve been keeping busy working on handmade gifts and getting some CHISTmas shopping done here and there. (this coming from the woman that is normally racing around like a mad~person on Christmas eve…) It is sooo hard to believe that it’s right around the corner, it’ll be here before we know it. Why do I feel like there are not enough hours in the day?
Hmm… today’s to do list. I’m waiting on paintings to dry, catching up on a bit of housework , trying to get a few custom journal orders ready, then off to the groomer and work in a bit. (Diesel needs a makeover! hehe! )
Things here are going great and I wish you all a wonderful day, my friends! I’ll be back soon!
Hugs, CJ
The haunted season is upon us… a special shout out to Day Hasson ~ the creator of my haunted houses, what an awesome and unique addition to my holiday decor! (I still need to frame the transformation of OUR home). ;) Day provides custom work at such a reasonable price and takes such good care of her customers. If you are on facebook, you can find her @ http://www.facebook.com/pages/DaysDreams/366059692775
She’s gearing up for the holiday season, so place your orders quick! Just imagine a customized Christmas scene… they make such wonderful gifts!
They are just fabulous! Love ya’ girl!
Christina
ox
I think that it’s safe to say that I overreacted… that episode just rubbed me the wrong way. You are all so sweet, knowledgeable and gave me some very sound advice. I really appreciate you taking the time to comment!
HUGS!
ox
Because, I am extremely angry. While dropping off more of my Halloween creations downtown today, a group of women come in to browse the store. Long story short, one of them started snapping photos of my artwork. Turning, staging and zooming in, she snapped a good size handful of pictures. I was lucky enough to be there and actually witness it while it was happening!!!! (NOT~ that was an exaggeration!) I was not aware of what was going on, until I see the flash going off and this woman was backed into a corner around my inventory.
Okay. Biting my tongue, I said nothing to her simply out of respect for the lovely shop owners and because I am a representing artist there, but my blood was boiling. I’m sure that you can imagine what I wanted to do and say... to be quite frank, i am pissed. Yes, I need to calm myself down and remember that old saying. Something about the greatest form of flattery is……………………COPYING??????!!!!!!!!!
Who knows what she is planning on doing with the photos of my work… I can only speculate and assume. hmmmm.
Ugh. Thanks for listening guys, I just really had to vent. What is your opinion about things like this? I know that it must happen all of the time, to all of the great artists out there… I just hate that I had to SEE it first hand happening to MY artwork.
On a lighter and absolutely wonderful note, I had just stepped foot into the store when Melissa & Karen told me that someone very sweet had just left after purchasing a few of my things. I apparently, just missed her. :( They also let me know that *you* had told them how much you loved my work. To the sweetheart that just made my day, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. It’s people like you that inspire and make all of us so happy to do what we love to do. I only wish that I knew your name, I would love to meet you! Melissa did say that you took home my card and might check out my blog… PLEASE do and let me know exactly who you are if you decide to stop by for a visit sometime! Big hugs and much appreciation to you, you really made my day! :)
oxox
Christina
Spooky stuff going up for sale…
Taking these to Cottage of the Seasons next week!
Madly making more… stay tuned!
ox
metal clipboard advertisement calendar & fancy picks.
oh, the cake decorating sweets, ribbon, mini eggs in perfect colors and doll heads.
these are the most delicate mugs. gorgeous hand blown glass, i was afraid to wash them. eeek!
lovin’ the necklace!
up close of the calendar dates… fantastic!
what can i say??? i have a secret love affair with ironstone… and the butter dish? almost as huge as the platter!
did you really think that i was going to leave this little heart chain behind??? L.O.V.E.
silly popcorn bowl but big and can be put to very good use in my art room. imagine how much i can stash away in that~ out of sight and cute to boot! oh, and the bag inside?? SpIdEr WebBiNG for my spooky creations.
YE~HAW!!!!! it was a good day!
hugs!
